Another Stupid Congressman Makes Another Stupid Remark

When will these people learn?

Yet another member of congress makes a ridiculous suggestion about how people should get better healthcare. This time it’s Rep. Warren Davidson (R-Ohio) who has suggested to a mother that her son should simply get a better job if he wants thorough and affordable healthcare. Read the article Here.

How out of touch with reality can these people be?? First off, do they think high paying jobs with great benefits just grow on trees? And that just anybody can get them? And that everybody is qualified for such jobs because of the education and skills they possess? Umm….NO. None of that is true. Not everybody has the skills or education to qualify for those jobs (especially considering how little the GOP cares about quality education and affordable college for all Americans). Even if everybody had the same opportunity to get a quality education, not everybody is cut out for higher level learning. Plus, there isn’t an unlimited number of high wage jobs available in the United States anyway. And since nobody seems to want to pay a living wage or provide decent health benefits to those people who are never going to be qualified for higher paying jobs, then what are they supposed to do? Suffer because they’re not smart enough or educated enough to make more money? Even if they aren’t “lazy takers” and are willing to work full time to make a living?

And lastly, is he suggesting that everybody who is currently in a low-paying job in the service industry or retail should simply quit those jobs and go get higher paying jobs (as if they wouldn’t if they could….see the points above)? Because if that’s what he’s suggesting and just for arguments sake let’s say it was actually possible and people could just do that….who the hell is going to serve us food, cash us out at Target, pump our gas, or bag our groceries? If everybody was qualified for high paying jobs with great benefits and there were enough of those jobs for all adults in America to have one, who would actually opt to take a job in a restaurant or grocery store or gas station?? Nobody, that’s who! You fucking moron!

And where would that leave our economy and society if it could happen? Would all service, food industry, and retail jobs be taken over by A.I.? It doesn’t really matter, because none of the proposition is realistic in the first place! At least not with the current state of things. The idiots that spew this bullshit don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. And this is coming from someone who should know much less about most things than our congresspeople. But it seems to me that much of this is common sense and we should all be able to see that. It’s a sad and scary world we’re living in when someone like this guy can get elected.




Not Enough Time….

Why I haven’t been writing and what I’ve been up to.

It seems like there is just never enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to….and do them well. So I admit, I’ve let this blog fall to the wayside. I never expected much out of it beyond personal relief at being able to express myself with the written word, but I’m still disappointed that I haven’t kept it up. I’m not going to make any promises or set some ambitious goal for posting, but I will try to use this venue more often if I can.

Last you heard from me I was contemplating a big change: College. Since then (a little over a month ago) I made my decision final and started pursuing it. I looked into local colleges and universities and explored some interesting application options. Ultimately I decided on what’s called co-admittance between the area community college and Portland State University. It will give me the flexibility to attend classes at either school or both at the same time. It’s also only one application process and financial aid is disbursed between schools. Another great benefit is being able to use services, such as the library and advising, at both schools.

Education - Billboard on the Sunrise Background.

In this last month I was able to see an admissions adviser, make a decision, complete the application process, submit my financial aid paperwork, get accepted (yay!), set up my online student accounts, see academic advisers at both schools, take an at-home math placement exam and start working on a module to improve my placement, do an online orientation for one of the schools, and decide on a major and minor. Whew…it’s been a busy month 🙂

I know majors can change and I’m ok with that being a possibility. But I also feel like I’m old enough that I should at least start with a plan. So I’m majoring in Political Science with a Public Service focus and minoring in Sociology. Both of those topics interest me and I think they play well together. I don’t know exactly what might come out of this as far as jobs go, but I’m hoping it’ll fill what feels like a crater-sized educational hole in my life.

I’m currently terrified, excited, and am jumping out of my skin to get started. I won’t be able to actually attend classes until June and the schedule for summer session doesn’t even get released for another two weeks. I think I’ll use this time to work on my math placement and get my life and space more organized so I’m ready to go when the time comes. This is going to be an interesting adventure. I’m already exhausted just thinking about it! But I know that sticking it out will be a great source of pride and happiness in my life.

happiness path (2)


photo credit: Inspirational Quotes Inspirational ‪Quote‬ via photopin (license)

Contemplating Something Big (part 1)

Regret can be crushing and fear can be paralyzing. How I’m coping with them.

For years I’ve suffered under the crushing weight of regret. Regrets both big and small tend to drag me under, all while I smile and pretend they don’t bother me. I act like I don’t care what people think of me, that regret is useless, and since nothing can be done to change the past I don’t dwell on it. Those things I project outwardly, but for the most part they aren’t my truth. Things I did in my teens still haunt me even as I careen toward 40! I have more regrets than I can possibly write about. But there’s one big one that has been nagging me more and more frequently and more and more forcefully: Never getting a college degree.

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future. –  Fulton Oursler

All through grade school and high school I was an excellent student but things got really messy senior year. Due to various circumstances I ended up with a GED instead of a diploma and after high school I starting at a two year college instead of university. I won’t recount all the details of my ensuing college experiences but needless to say they never amounted to much. I’ve gone to community colleges several times but never walked away with anything more than one fully finished term under my belt. My focus vacillated from journalism to nursing to business….

During much of this time I was in and out of destructive relationships, partying heavily, aWoman and drops of rainnd dealing with my ongoing mental health issues without effective treatment (or any treatment much of the time). Eventually I did find the wonderful man that became my husband and he has been a great influence on me. Over the course of our 14 years together I have certainly settled down, grown up, and sought treatment.

Never has my regret about being uneducated and having zero professional skills or experience been more glaring, frustrating, or embarrassing to me than right now. Although I’ve always felt shame surrounding these issues and a theoretical desire to correct them, I’ve never felt really driven to remedy them. And perhaps as importantly, never felt I had the ability to do so. Some of the obstacles that have been apparent are of course easily measured such as monetary concerns or our continual geographic upheaval during my husbands time in the military on active duty.

I think, however, the things that have actually held me back the most cannot be measured in dollars or miles. My lack of confidence, limiting perfectionism, past inability to follow through and stick things out are a few glaring concerns. Tack on a low tolerance for stress and uncertainty about my emotional well-being and you have a pretty compelling argument against any action. I mean really, who would bet against those odds?

Grunge American flag

So why am I even thinking about such things now? A few reasons. The most tangible is that I feel REALLY driven to DO something now that our country seems to be in mortal danger. I feel like it’s a combination of patriotism, motherly protection, and self preservation that is driving this desire. I am a firm believer and defender of democracy, the concept of our nation as one of inclusion, and of our place as a leader and model for the world. I truly feel like all of those tenets are in peril.

Education is the development of power and ideal. – W. E. B. Du Bois

The fears arising are spurring me toward more action and interest than I’ve ever felt before. I know I can be helpful in small ways to fight for better outcomes but those limited tasks and gestures, as worthy as they are, don’t feel like enough for me. But I lack the education and credentials necessary to fulfill my potential. Without additional education, I’ll never be a campaign manager, run for office or be a congressional staffer or researcher. I’ll never become a journalist or analyst or have any meaningful position in a not-for-profit or community organization. In essence, my ambition is stunted.

The other reason I’m even letting these ideas rattle around inside my head now has to do with where I am in life. I feel I’ve been undergoing a transformation for some time now. Little things have started to improve and I’ve made some positive changes. I love my current therapist, my current medication routine seems to be working well, and overall I just feel better somehow, despite all the shittiness in the world and the inevitable anger and sadness that causes. In fact, my current soundness undeterred by the soul crushing world we’re living in shows progress.

I’m not sure how to accurately describe what I am barely able to recognize myself, but indeed it does feel like something. Perhaps it is a maturity of sorts, a growing into oneself that just naturally happens as you are approaching 40. I’ve been trying to do more lately, more things that scare me, more things that are outside my wheelhouse, things that generally I wouldn’t have the fortitude to try before. It’s not as if I’m feeling an abundance of confidence right now though. It’s more a drive to do things despite not having a ton of assurance. I suppose what I’m feeling now is simply more courage as opposed to confidence. Since there are still fears, the fact that I’m trying them anyway seems more courageous than confident.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. – Mark Twain

I’m certainly not “cured” of all my neurosis and I definitely still have moments and mini breakdowns. I do feel a much greater drive though to keep going, keep trying, and I want to translate that into something real and tangible. I know trying to get a college degree right now will be immensely difficult and has so many obstacles in it’s way that I may not be able to overcome them. But I’m not going to let myself drop the idea without at least exploring it. I’m going to keep thinking about it and pursuing information. I’ve already begun some research and plan to do more.

I’ll be using this topic as a regular feature on the blog and hope it’ll be an interesting journey to take. Whether it dies in 3 weeks, 3 years, or lives and succeeds, there will be stories to tell.